Little Details

I love every little piece of Jacob.  He is such a miracle and a blessing!

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We have been the recipients of so many blessings on this journey.

~ We decided to try one more round of fertility treatments before we left Walnut Creek, and we got pregnant.

~ I was pregnant at a time when we lived in a place with great medical care and doctors who understand Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

~ We, without knowing how much we couldn't afford it, paid for student health insurance for the first quarter of business school, which allowed me to see a maternal fetal medicine doctor who understood HG, and which allowed me to receive the home health care that I needed.

~ We were then able to transfer on to Medicaid when that first quarter ended and receive all our care for free.  And because one girl at the Medicaid office non-nonchalantly mentioned that if I filed a certain exemption I could remain in the UCLA Health System, I was able to continue receiving the care that I needed through a difficult pregnancy and Jacob was blessed to be born at the UCLA hospital and have the excellent NICU team present at his birth.  He will also be able to continue in the UCLA System until we move!

The Lord's hand is in my life and His timing is perfect.  I do not understand His ways and I haven't been the best at accepting His will or His timing.  But this experience proves to me that He knows all and is watching over each of us individually.  What love!

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We also moved in to a ward where the Compassionate Service Committee chairperson is a Labor & Delivery nurse.  How helpful that was at the beginning of this pregnancy!  This ward has been wonderful helping us out when we need it.  

Though I have been quite "needy" for the last months, Ben has been able to work to the best of and maybe even beyond his abilities in school and has secured a wonderful summer internship with General Mills.

We have been blessed with such generosity - a majorly discounted birth class and free birth photography.  Because there are just good people in this world.  And also much generosity from our parents, who show us their love in many ways.

I have been able to work with the main researcher of HG and know that there is attention being given to this condition - and hope that there is someday a cure!

We have amazing families and such caring friends.  There are a lot of people in our corner and that has been proven time and time again.

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I love these little details of my sweet baby Jacob.

On the day that Jacob was born, he had an ultrasound on his kidneys.  They look better than they did in utero and are so good that they don't need any intervention right now!  The doctors will continue to monitor them with ultrasounds every 3 months.

When Jacob was born, the doctors saw that he has a "sacral dimple" - a little dimple on his bottom that can often signify spinal problems.  Before we left the hospital, Jacob had a spinal ultrasound and everything checked out completely normal!  

What a blessing and a miracle this child is to me.

First Moments

Getting to hold Jacob for the first time was one of the most magical moments.

Being Born is Hard Stuff

When Jacob was born, he wasn't breathing.  There are a couple of possible reasons, though we can never be sure.  But, he was stunned!  After living in my warm, fluid-filled womb for 9 months, I can't blame him.  This world is a scary place!

I am so grateful for the NICU team at UCLA.  They were in our room for the birth because we were concerned that this would happen.  They worked on Jacob in the delivery room for 8 minutes with no response and then they took him to the NICU.  He was there for only about 5 or 10 minutes and then he started breathing spontaneously.  Shortly he was allowed to return to me.  

When Jacob came back to the delivery room, Mom got to cut the umbilical cord (they had cut it long real quickly before helping him)!  Grandma cut the cord!  And then we got to hold him.

Oh, how I love this sweet boy.  Every day my heart is filled with so much gratitude I can hardly bear it.

Birth Story

On Sunday, May 3rd, I woke up from a night of continuous and painful back labor; I remember doing my breathing exercises in my sleep all night long to cope.  We thought that maybe my water had broken but we weren't sure, so we called Labor & Delivery and they said to pack our bags and come in.  We did, but it turned out to be a false alarm and just a practice run.  But, I was 1 cm dilated and 70% effaced, and the doctor told us that she wouldn't be surprised if we were back in L&D that night.

The next day, May 4th, after another painful night of back labor, I headed to the hospital for my regular antenatal testing.  I was planning to go get a pedicure afterwards.  When I got to the Fetal Diagnostics Unit, I told Janet, the nurse, that I was feeling really close to having this baby.  I hopped up on the table for my ultrasound and everything looked fine . . but she asked if I was having any back pain.  I answered YES! and she told me that Baby had flipped into a posterior position and was now "sunny side up."  This position of a baby can make for very painful contractions in your back and can make delivery a little more complicated.  Luckily, during labor, he flipped himself back into a regular delivery position, but this certainly explained all of the back pain I'd been having.  After the ultrasound I had my Non-Stress Test and my contractions were lasting so long that Janet came over to comfort me just based on what she was seeing on the monitors.  I was having such strong and long contractions that she suggested I have my cervix checked again, even though I'd just been checked the morning before.  So I stood up to undress and get ready for that . . and well . . there was a trickle down my legs!  I said, "Uh . . Janet, there is something running down my legs!"  I hopped back up on the bed and she tested the fluid with this little strip of paper.  It turned bright blue, which signified that my water, indeed, was broken!  I started laughing and giggling and asking if it was really true!  She said, "Alright!  You're having this baby!  Change into this hospital gown and I'll walk you down the hall to Labor & Delivery!"  I gave her a celebratory hug and we headed down the hall.  (This was about Noon.)

Ben was really close, on campus, but I couldn't get a hold of him.  Mom and Dad weren't answering their phones either!  So I called our birth photographer and she was the first to know I was having this baby!  Eventually I got a hold of Ben and he came to the hospital to see me and then headed home to get our packed bags.  I talked to Mom and Dad as well and Mom left Merced to come to LA right away.  

When my water broke, the doctors could see that there was meconium in the fluid, which is rather worrisome.  And, I am a carrier of Group Beta Strep.  So once my water was broken it was important to deliver soon.  As soon as I was checked in I was hooked up to an IV (which actually took forever because my veins kept blowing), and I started receiving a bag of fluids, a dose of penicillin, and a drip of Pitocin.  I knew that I would need penicillin to protect Baby from my GBS, but I wasn't hoping to be induced.  But, it was important to do in this situation and that's what we did.

Ben and I spent the afternoon in our room using all of the breathing, positioning, and massaging techniques we had learned in our birth class.  And the doctors kept upping the Pitocin.  Thank goodness we had learned how to deal with back labor - that counter-pressure was a life saver!  We walked the halls, played "I Spy," and had a mini dance party in between contractions.  By 7 PM I was starting to suffer and requested an epidural, so we were moved to our delivery room and I felt immediate relief.  At this point I was 4 cm dilated and 100% effaced.

Mom arrived around 9 PM and we should have all slept, but I was so excited to be in labor and to see Mom that we talked for a couple of hours.  Then Mom and Ben just had to sleep, so I tried to rest without much success.  At some point, the doctors checked my cervix again and I was dilated to 7 cm.  I also threw up twice, but I don't really remember when - it's all such a blur!  Around 2 AM, I was 9 cm dilated and the doctor thought that maybe my water hadn't quite broken all the way so she broke it completely for me.  Then our birth photographer arrived and my epidural was starting to wear off so I got a little bolus dose.  And then it was time!  

I started pushing around 3:15 AM and Jacob came into this world at 5:24 AM on Tuesday, May 5, 2015.  Actually pushing and delivering this baby is the hardest thing I have ever done.  I was scared the whole time, and then I started to panic.  I felt like I'd gotten myself into this situation and I was the only person who could get myself out of it.  I had to push him out, and I felt helpless.  Jacob's feet were also in my ribs at this point, so taking a deep breath in between pushes was painful and nearly impossible.  But, I did it!  After 2 hours of pushing (and yelling at Mom, Ben, the nurses, and the doctors!) Jacob was born!

I think that I actually felt a lot of the birth, because when the doctors were going to stitch me up, they poked me to test if I needed any local anesthesia.  I totally felt their little poke and they were quite surprised that I did.  And to be honest, the pain of the pushing wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be.  I was too focused on the effort of pushing and getting Jacob and I through that experience that I wasn't focused on the pain.  It hurt (bad), I won't lie, but it was different than I expected.  I wanted the pain; I wanted to birth this child!